Sunday, January 10, 2010

List of Humorous Thoughts and Realizations from 2009

So, I was feeling a wee bit creative the other night, but not enought to really write I was reflecting on the past year and came up with this list of humorous thoughts and realizations. I thought some of them may be relatable so I figured I'd post them and challenge others to do the same. =)

1. If you decide to write a list of humorous thoughts and realizations from the previous year and it takes 30 minutes to think of the first one, you probably need to make some changes in the New Year.

2. If you decide you are going to write a historical family novel and you tell “everyone” you know, then you really should actually start writing it.

3. If you find yourself drifting at work and wondering how many crops you still need to harvest in Farmville to purchase the villa, you may need to re-evaluate your computer time.

4. If the highlight of your day is exclaiming “Yay!! ‘Glee’ is on tonight!!” then you probably need to get out more (but I don’t really care cause it’s the highlight of my week!)

5. If you are scrounging for change before you leave for work in the morning and you can’t find any so you decide to drive to the cash machine, it’s a good sign your latte addiction has returned.

6. If you tell your husband you want a puppy and he says no, then later says ok, you know he still loves you.

7. If you want to lose 30 pounds, do it the old fashioned way; diet and exercise as opposed to unrelated surgery and hospital stay.

8. If you start to think turning 50 is hard, don’t think about it and be happy to just “be”.

9. If you cry at almost every commercial on tv, it doesn’t necessarily mean you are hormonal…you could just be experiencing an extremely high level of emotions due to the fact that you are on some extremely high levels of pain meds.

10. If you are having trouble adjusting to the fact that your son now sports a beard, just be thankful that he can.

11. If you have a brother who buys you a Coleman folding chair with fold out table for Christmas, you know he got the message from you using his all summer at the baseball games.

12. If your husband plays in a band, you don’t really want to attend all the gigs, unlike what you thought when you were younger and wondered where all the wives were.

13. If you leave a box of Christmas cards sitting on the computer desk in front of you, they will not address and mail themselves, no matter how much you think about it.

14. If you open your yard to feral cats, more are sure to come as they have some type of feral underground railroad that makes regular stops at approved depots.

15. If you are laid up and time seems to stand still, the world does not experience the same effect outside your four walls and you are now residing in the twilight zone.

16. If you drink two large Red Bulls at night, you may have a little trouble going to sleep, no matter how much you say the caffeine doesn’t bother you.

17. If you get a spray tan and you still aren’t tan, you are just pale, will always be pale, and should learn to get over it.

18. If your son joins a Facebook group titled “Yeah, ok, yes, yeah, yeah, ok, yes, ok, I know, ok, yes, BYE MOM”, and then another group titled “MOM, CHILL, IT WAS JUST A JOKE”, he still loves you and doesn’t really mean to be sarcastic. ;)

19. If you are going to your son’s baseball game and you have more stuff than you can physically carry to the field yourself, it may be time to invest in a wheelbarrow/shopping cart/flatbed – or bribe someone else’s kid with a candy bar to help you out.

20. If you are at the point of hitting the snooze alarm three times and then dragging yourself out of bed in the morning, you are back to your old self and life is good.


21. If your husband reads this and then says, “You have too much time on your hands”, just respond by saying, “Be nice, or I’ll write another one about you.”

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